Full disclosure: I'm an opinionated moderate conservative who supports the Pirate Party, for the most part. We need to talk about the economy; the system we've got isn't working and the politicians are just going round in circles recycling old policies. I've got a better idea.

I've come to talk about Basic Income and how it would make life better for your business, yourselves, and your employees. It would provide an unconditional fixed amount to everyone in Britain, rich or poor.
That sounds good in principle. Would we be eligible?

My bosses
What about our business? Where is the money going to come from to pay for this? What about our workers? If they get this too, they might decide to leave and we might have trouble replacing them. Our business requires well-trained full-time permanent staff who know their roles.
I mean, isn't there a risk that people will choose not to work because they're not obliged to?

Lazy scrounger

And where is the money going to come from? Would you divert it from essential public services?

It's the fairest way to redistribute wealth in our unequal society. It'd also kickstart the economy by giving people more money to spend.
We'll fund it by taxing the very rich, supermarkets, and businesses like yours. We'll also set a statutory limit of 30 hours a week for workers.
What about our clients? We have to provide a service to them that meets their needs.

My boss
Hiring more staff to comply with such an arbitrary law would be more costly in both time and money and may affect the service we provide.

Fear not, friends, I'm here now.

Enter Wendy, furious

Begone, foul fiend, I've got a calculator and I'm not afraid to use it.

Your sophistry and trendiness is no match for my rock solid logic and refusal to tolerate left-liberal nonsense.

hand holding calculator

Let's work out how much it's going to cost to give 60 million-odd people a monthly Basic Income of 1000, shall we?
Not the calculator!

Liberal, upset

Let's take him outside.

me, serious

You'll be able to see the true nature of his policies in the cold light of day. Let's get some sunlight on this.

Daylight! Noooooo!!

Liberal, scared, outside
my boss, tiny What's happened to him, Wendy? And what is that dreadful stink? It's like something from a farmyard
pile of poo
me, serious
This is what happens when you confront these people with the truth; they crumble and it turns out that they're full of crap. Basic Income would be unsustainable if it was applied to all of us. What we need is a Middle-out solution. That would work.